


Cross My Heart

by Pixiebells



Category: Harlots (TV)
Genre: Canon Lesbian Relationship, Drama, F/F, Falling In Love, First Time, Foreplay, Friends to Lovers, Girls Kissing, Happy Ending, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Romance, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 16:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15247602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixiebells/pseuds/Pixiebells
Summary: The passion between Amelia and Violet burns like the sun. But with one wrong move, will everything go up in flames?





	1. Spring Fever

**Author's Note:**

> Harlots is back and I thought it would be the perfect time to share a fic! I've had this one brewing for quite a while. I love this pairing and just an FYI, I avoid spoilers at all costs, so this is 100% original.

Amelia Scanwell had always loved spring time. She opened her front door and took a deep breath, excited for another pretty day.

It was late April now and she could feel the balmy air freeing her from extra layers. She was happy to shed an extra cloak just before she left the house.

She strolled along the street, and felt the warm sun on her face. Yesterday was the first day of hearing the robins chirping. She knew it was all a promise of better weather yet to come.

She arrived at the square and gathered her morning eggs plus an extra loaf of bread. She bought fresh apples and carefully placed tham into her basket. Now done with her shopping for the morning, she looked over and was thrilled when she saw Violet standing in their usual spot. She was leaning against the brick wall in a light purple dress that made her eyes sparkle.

Amelia came forward and put down her basket when she reached Violet.

Vi batted her eyelashes, and Amelia blushed and chuckled, a flutter roaming through body.

"I got you something." She announced, a grin on her face.

"What is it?" Amelia asked.

She grinned again and held up a small sweet fruit.

"Strawberries. Got 'em this morning. Want one?"

Amelia just smiled and nodded. She held out her hand, but Violet popped it right into her mouth watching her enjoy the sweet, juicy berry.

Amelia licked her lips without thinking and Violet slid her hands around Amelia's waist, pulling her closer.

She looked over her shoulder to make sure no one else was there. They shifted away from the street. Now further into the darkness of the alleyway, she stared into beautiful brown eyes as Vi's hands ligered on her hips.

Amelia was pressed against her soft curves, and felt energy shooting through every vein. Her heart skipped a beat when their lips met, sharing the sticky-sweet juices that stained her lips.

It was slow at first, and then her mouth opened gently and their tongues brushed together with a pleasant shock.

She whimpered between their kisses as Violet slowly caressed the small, soft curves her chest.

Her breath got heavier when Violet started kissing her neck as she continued to grope her. Her eyes slipped closed, willingly submitting to her touch. She'd never felt this before, and she couldn't get enough.

~*~

That night, Amelia was happy, though she knew she had to be wary every time they met. No one could know they were together.

Even though her mother had confessed her own morally ambiguous past, that didn't mean she'd take their affair well.

And now, she couldn't sleep. She was restless, overheated and twisted in her sheets. To make things more frustrating, she kept thinking about Violet. How soft her dress was this morning, the sparkle in her eyes, the ease she had in touching her just right....

It was such a fuss meeting in public. Would they ever go to Violet's room at Nancy's house? What would they do if they were ever alone there, not hiding in alleyways? What would Violet want, Amelia wondered, with her brash ideas and flirty quips?

The heat was getting to her, so she shed her chemise, now just in her small clothes. She stayed unded her sheet, to maintain some modesty.

As her mind wandered, she kept recalling that afternoon and felt something overtake her.

A lusty spark, a desire that shot through every vein. Her body and mind were exposed together. Taking a deep breath, hardly able to understand what she was doing or why, she laid back, and closed her eyes.

~*~

She sat up again in a start. Her mind spun as her body trembled. The alluring fantasies of Violet disappeared and she was now hit with an immense wave of guilt. What was she _doing_?! That was wrong, every second of it! She gasped like she was running out of air and pulled her clothes on. She dashed to her pitcher and splashed water from the basin to cool her face. It mixed with her tears and she grabbed soap and started to scrub her hands, hoping and wishing she'd feel better, clean and whole again. She stood, repeating until her eyelids got heavy. She stumbled back to her bed, too drowsy to care anymore.

~*~

The next morning she approached Violet more nervous than ever. She didn't want to tell her, but she knew she'd think of it again and again until she told her. What would she say? Did she approve? Or would she be uncomfortable with it?

They kissed lightly, but Amelia pulled back.

"What's wrong, love?" Vi asked, head tilted to one side. "You ain't yourself."

"I'm.  not feeling well." At least that wasn't a lie.

"What happened?"

"I..." She turned away from her intent stare. "I...thought of you in...." She took a shuddering breath, awash with guilt. "In a way I shouldn't have." She confessed, voice twinging as she looked away.

"Really?" Violet eyes widened. But she slowed down, just by seeing that sweet face positively broken.

As flattering as it may feel to her, she quickly sensed this clearly wasn't good news for Amelia.

She looked at her cautiously. "How do you feel?"

"Awful!" She cried, now frantically clinging her.

"Well, all right." She perked up her chin. "So, the first time you do it _seems_ like a strange idea, but--"

"No--not that. Although...you're probably right. But it was wrong and I'm feeling so guilty. Like Lady Macbeth did." She proclaimed, eyes welling with tears. "I'll never be clean again!"

"Love, Lady Macbeth committed murder, not..." She trailed off, and stared at the girl turning into a crumbling mess.

She now realized that wasn't an exaggeration in her world. Acting on lust, even alone, might as well _be_ murder, and anything enjoyable, according to the words of Scripture she read every single day, was inheriantly wrong by the mere fact of being enjoyable.

She sighed. "I'm sorry you feel badly about it. Honest. I know it goes against your beliefs, and those beliefs matter to you. But..."

"But what?" She mumbled, hopeless.

She held her shoulders to keep her focused. "But you can't be a saint all the time. You have feelings and thoughts and things you want, and as much as I'd like to think so, they're not all perfect. But you're still a good person. You're sweet, and kind, always willing to help anyone, no matter what. And that's something to be very proud of."

She perked up her face once again and thought for a moment, trying to help her give herself more credit. "Think of it this way: if he had to choose," she began, "don't you think God cares more about what you do with your mind and heart than what you do with your body?"

"I suppose so." She said with a sniffle afte a moment of reflection. "There are those who are chaste, but cruel. I'd imagine God wants us to do good with the heart and mind he gave us. Our bodies are temporary, but our souls are eternal. Thank you for being so understanding. Nothing makes me happier than you."

"Good." Violet whispered.

She finally felt better, and realaxed again. She leaned up and kissed Violet, even caressing her soft hair. Violet grabbed her waist again, and Amelia leaned her head back just as she started to kiss her neck, and--

" _Amelia_!"

They broke the kiss and turned. To her horror, Florence was standing there, gaping at her daughter and Violet.

She'd come back from Church _early_! Amelia had been so distracted she'd forgetting all about it!

Her eyes widened and she took off like a shot down the alley way. Vi followed, then pulled her around the corner and led her to Margaret's as she fell into her arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

She banged on the door and Will opened it, surprised at the pair.

"S'cuse us, comin' in here." She said, bustling past him towards the parlor.

"What's all this?" Margaret asked, watching her put the poor mess on the couch.

"We--" Vi sheepishly mumbled, sitting beside her "--we was kissin', her ma sawr us, an--"

Margaret'eyes snapped open. Now she was wary: "You're sure she saw you?" She asked, sitting next to Amelia.

"She called my name," the younger girl sniveled, shaking her head. "I'm so ashamed!" She buried her face in her hands again, still crying.

"Oh come now, it's all right." Margaret assured as she leaned over her. "She ain't perfect, no one is, really." She soothed, a hand rubbing her back in slow circles.

"I'm so scared to even go outside now. I-I feel trapped and it's all my fault!"

"I'd say it's so least half my fault." Vi offered, unsure of what to say.

"Well," Margaret began with a sigh. "I'll admit: you probably aren't safe if you go out. If she saw ya, others might have too."

"Should we go to Nance?" Vi asked, hoping to help.

Margaret shook her head. "She was last seen with you. If anyone's looking for her, that's the first place they'd go. S'pose you'll both have to stay here, at least until we figure something else out." She sighed again and turned, looking out the window. Quigley wasn't in sight, and the streets were mostly empty.

She turned back to poor Amelia. The guilt was already clouding her sweetness.

"Let's make the best of it." Margaret encouraged the young girl. "Perhaps you could feel welcomed, not trapped. We ain't gonna throw you out on the street. Who am I to judge?"

"I appreciate the offer," she said, slowing down at last, "I know we need to hide, but I don't think I'll...fit in here." She shook her head. She didn't belong _anywhere_ now.

"You ain't gotta fit in," Margaret assured with a shrug. "just be you. We don't mind nothin', do we?"

"Well, if I stay here, will I have to--" She took a shuddering breath, her tear-stained face tight and pinkish.

"Absolutely not." Margaret declared with a firm shake of her head. "I'll tell you somethin' right now and all the girls will tell you the same: we might make our money lyin' in bed, but in this house, we _never_ make anyone do something they don't want to do. Ever."

"Thank you. But I'm still scared to go outside, and idleness is wrong. What shall I do?" She asked, looking up at her.

Margaret paused. "Well, now Fanny's just had a baby, she'll need aomeone to help out when she's working."

"Oh, I _love_ babies." Amelia cooed, a smile blossoming on her delicate face. "They're so sweet and innocent."

"Yea, see?" Margaret encouraged, perking her small chin up. "Help with the baby, or do work around the house, anything you want."

"Should I pay you if...if I stay?"

Margaret smiled and put a rough hand over her dainty one. "Your hard work will be payment enough. Would you be all right sharin' a bed with Lucy? She don't usually have gentlemen callers, so nothing to worry over."

She nodded in reply.

"I gotta be honest, it's not gonna be easy. But if it's meant to be, you'll know she's worth it."

"Take me and Will for example." She began, leaning back on the couch. "When we go out, people think I own him. They won't let him sit next to me. They call him "boy" even if he's older than they are! Can you imagine that, callin' a 40 year-old man 'boy'?"

"That's awful." She agreed with a shake of her head. "I can't imagine God approving of people owning each other. The only thing anyone should submit to is the Lord."

"Well, let's help you get settled in, yea?" She looked over her shoulder. "Harriet, are you waiting on anyone?"

"No, Mrs. Wells."

"Would you be kind enough to show Amelia to Lucy's room? She'll be staying with us for a few days."

"I'd be happy to."

"Thank you." The smaller girl said, holding our her hand for a shake. Margaret took it and gave a gentle squeeze. "Think nothing of it, love. You'll be safe here."

She nodded and turned away, smoothing out her skirts and following Harriet through the parlor


	2. Domestication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Amelia fit in at Margaret's?

The clock struck for 4 PM and Margaret now stood, a glass of gin in hand. She paused and poured Violet a glass as well.

"So you were _where_  exactly when this happened?" Margaret asked with a sip, bent on knowing every aspect of the discovery.

Amelia got Margaret's soft, nurturing side. She needed it.

But with Vi alone, the Madam's instinct of self-preservation radiated through the room.

Violet sighed, feeling an oncoming lecture as she sat on the couch again.

"Corner of Greek and Liberty by the alley. It's a secluded spot most days, so we didn't think--"

"You certainly _didn't_ think!" Margaret snapped, because Vi knew better. "I don't care what you do with her, that's your business. But out in the _open_?! What if one of those judges sees ya and you get charged for indecency?" She took another sip.

"You know damn well they'll blame you over her." She said, pacing the room. "They'll say you forced her, and then It's over to Nance with her head on a silver platter! And suppose Quigley sees it and helps pin it on me, too? Bring all of us down? We just got here, and we can't squander this chance!"

"Of course." Vi retorted with a sneer, ice rattling in her glass. "It's always about _you_. And I should be ashamed, apparently?"

"I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth. I just said I don't care what you do. You ain't gotta be ashamed, just more careful."

                      ~*~

It had only been a day, but the truth was out by the next morning.

"Tell me," Lucy teased over breakfast, a gleam in her eyes, "does she taste sweeter 'cause she's so innocent?" She asked with a chuckle, nibbling on her toast.

Vi had her elbow propping her up on the table. She looked up in annoyance from her bread and cheese cheese. "Does a preacher's prick taste different than a layman's?"

"No." She replied, deflated. She gave up once she looked around and knew she didn't have a captive audience. Kitty was going over the accounts for last month, Fanny was almost falling asleep into her oatmeal with Mercy at her side and Marie-Louise was complaning to herself in French as she read the daily news.

"Well, there's you damn answer then. Besides," she sighed and sat up, pouring milk into her glass. "We haven't done that yet."

Just then, Amelia entered the attic with a plate of biscuits. 

"Does anyone else need anything from the kitchen?" She asked, surveying the room. Marie Louise shook her head, and the other girls were silent.

"C'mon love, sit down." Violet patted an empty chair next to her. "You ain't gotta serve us all day." She went on, taking a biscuit.

"I'm sure she be of service to you later." Lucy teased.

Vi punched her arm. "God you're a right priss!"

"It was a joke; I don't care what you do with her." Lucy insisted.

"What ever. Go make yourself useful." She snapped, stealing a sprig of grapes off her plate. "Get downstairs and put something in that mourh of yours so you stop talking."

Fanny didn't mean to take sides but she couldn't help but laugh.

She paused and cleaned her throat. 

"What?" She asked, fluffing the red feather in her hair. "It was funny."

Lucy rolled her eyes and left.

"I don't know why she was sassin' you." Kitty spoke up as she kept writing.

"Maybe she's intimidated by a woman of your...caliber." Amelia said, grinning.

But then she paused. "Was that bad, or?" She whispered to Violet.

"No, love you're fine. Relax." She assured her, handing her a plate, and more of Lucy's green grapes.

The girls were silent for a few minutes; they all finished their meal. There was a knock on the door.

"Fanny?" Margaret said, holding the door open. "You have a guest." 

"Do you need me to feed the baby?" Amelia asked.

"Just have her down for a nap and she'll be fine." The older girl said, straighting her corset. "Thank you." She bent down  and picked up Mercy. "She actually just ate, so I bet she'll go right to sleep."

"Oh, she's so pretty." Amelia said with a sigh, picking her up.

"Love you," Fanny whispered to her baby, kissing the soft cheek.

"I should go." But she paused, lingering at the door.

"Don't worry." Amelia assured her. "She'll be right here when you're done. I think she's almost asleep." 

Fanny smiled and left, as Amelia held the delicate baby and rocked her to sleep.


End file.
